His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
