god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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