Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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