i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
zippers are such a cool invention
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
