Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
