I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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