I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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