i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
