Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
