Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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