all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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