anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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