Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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