kristin has been a bad kristin
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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