Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.