Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.