Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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