So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
MIDGETS
????
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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