Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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