i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we're so committed to being not committed
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
