I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize