I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
