Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Michael Bay diarrhea
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
