if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
