We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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