I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had to cum in my sink.
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