god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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