you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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