i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
