k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
