Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
