She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's official drugs can't kill me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
