Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
