Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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