I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
