I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
