Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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