hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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