You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
