You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
