Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize