my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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