I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings