How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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