If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?