Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again

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(301): Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again http://tfl.nu/89sh

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(541): View more from Oregon

you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?

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(541): you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me? http://tfl.nu/hd4u

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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(508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.

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(609): He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this. http://tfl.nu/kn9g

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(973): View more from New Jersey

there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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(973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

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(303): I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever. http://tfl.nu/ptta

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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.

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(907): I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/8kf2

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.

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(201): Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys. http://tfl.nu/w09r

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(631): View more from New York

only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..

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(631): only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down.. http://tfl.nu/gaw4

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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(919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj

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(541): View more from Oregon

Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.

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(541): Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused. http://tfl.nu/dae0

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(713): View more from Texas

He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...

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(713): He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate... http://tfl.nu/djvz

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(253): View more from Washington

at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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(253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz

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(916): View more from California

That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag

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(916): That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag http://tfl.nu/rjsr

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(775): View more from Nevada

By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face

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(775): By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face http://tfl.nu/uzn2

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