yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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