idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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