I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
