I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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