i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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