3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
