She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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