This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
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