non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
