youre lurking in front of me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
