just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
