He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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