He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
