SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
